Got this mail from a new reader,i obviously can’t share the name. She would like to know your view on this,please help her out;
Hi,I’m a lady. Normally,I don’t really have girlfriends;the last time I had a lot of girlfriends was in the university and it was a lot of drama. Every girl I’m friends with always want what I have ,even though what you see is not always what you get. They always feel like oh,she has this,I should have it too,she’s dating this guy,I should date him too .
I dated this guy for few months,two to three ish,it didn’t work out because he was so obvious about why he was in the ‘relationship’ with me,to get in my pants. It didn’t work out because that was not what I wanted,and some ladies can agree with me when I say relationship is not all about sex and if sex must be involved,the both of you have to have respect for one another and a mutual feeling. While I was dating this guy I had this friend I work with and we became friends eventually and you know whenever you are dating a guy and you have this friend,you want them to get along,at least that’s what I thought; without even noticing it,she always happened to be everywhere with us somehow. As my friend, I told her everything about my relationship then,when its working out and when it’s not. She wasn’t friendly with guy while we were dating,just normal hello,hi; the minute we broke up. I even told her why we broke up, she became so friendly with the guy.
I also told her why it didn’t work out between us and she had her own fair share of advice. Now she’s so close to the guy that I feel like the outsider;like she knows his whereabouts,what he’s doing and possible what he’s thinking. It’s like she’s obsessed with him.
My question is this,is it okay for your friend to be friends with your Ex? What I don’t understand, is the sudden friendliness and why she doesn’t see how awkward it is . It’s not like she was friends with the guy before I started going out with him,I introduced them considering I was dating him at the time. I am not interested in the guy anymore and I know we are not in high school were you expect you girlfriend to be enemies with your Ex but why now (that I’m not with the guy anymore). You don’t see me being friends with the guy’s friends so why can’t she see how awkward it is.
I feel betrayed by her and I want to know if this has happened to you and what advice you can give on how to deal with the situation. I feel like I can’t trust her,is she doing it to spite me,does she like the guy or does just want what i had. I’m with a guy that loves me so much and I’m thankful to God. I’m find it really awkward to be friends with my Ex and his friends but can be matured enough to greet when necessary but I still can’t imagine how some girls are comfortable with this? What do they stand to gain?why do they even bother? I’m so uncomfortable because this girl is my friend and the fact that she’s friends with my Ex and rubbing it in my face is uncool.What should I do? Should I still be friends with her and not be worried what she could do to me in the future or should I not be friends with her anymore?