Questions People Ask In Relationships
June 10, 2015
We all know relationship talk can be really complicated. Well,let me begin with the reason for this article… There’s this guy at my bank that i give my number every time we meet.
Either cos he lost it or he called and i didn’t pick… you know, one excuse or
the other. Would love to talk about that more but it’s making me dizzy.
Either cos he lost it or he called and i didn’t pick… you know, one excuse or
the other. Would love to talk about that more but it’s making me dizzy.
What i would
really talk about is how i met him at the bank today and he asked of my
boyfriend, after i asked of his girlfriend (well, his ex now)… of course! I
knew they were not together anymore, I asked cos on my way home some months
ago, we boarded the same bus, it rained that day and the weather was really
chilly. We got talking and he asked where i was headed, home or….. I said home,
I asked the same, he said not home yet, that he has to see someone. That hereally needs to see her and i asked if the person was dying (lol,i know! Really
insensitive but you can’t blame me he made it seem like a matter of life and
death). Anyways, he smiled and said
she’s not dying but he had to see her, that she’s his ex. And i wondered why a
guy would want to visit his ex; she’s not sick/dying…in this weather *clears throat*….
really talk about is how i met him at the bank today and he asked of my
boyfriend, after i asked of his girlfriend (well, his ex now)… of course! I
knew they were not together anymore, I asked cos on my way home some months
ago, we boarded the same bus, it rained that day and the weather was really
chilly. We got talking and he asked where i was headed, home or….. I said home,
I asked the same, he said not home yet, that he has to see someone. That hereally needs to see her and i asked if the person was dying (lol,i know! Really
insensitive but you can’t blame me he made it seem like a matter of life and
death). Anyways, he smiled and said
she’s not dying but he had to see her, that she’s his ex. And i wondered why a
guy would want to visit his ex; she’s not sick/dying…in this weather *clears throat*….
 |
Back to the
bank; did i mention he works there? Ok good. He attended to me and asked how i
was and my family, he also said i looked really good. That was when the
boyfriend question came in and i told him complicated (is that not always the
case?) and he said he doesn’t want to be in relationships anymore and i agreed that
they suck! He said relationship doesn’t always suck especially if you are with
the right person and gave an example of his colleague (he’s in a relationship
with the right person), that he envies him. Then i said, if and when you meet
the right person you won’t waste the person’s time. He said it’s a discussion
for another time but he misplaced my number that his phone is having issues
that i should give him my number and i said this is the tenth time I’m giving
you my number, he said it wasn’t and he won’t ,mess it up this time.
bank; did i mention he works there? Ok good. He attended to me and asked how i
was and my family, he also said i looked really good. That was when the
boyfriend question came in and i told him complicated (is that not always the
case?) and he said he doesn’t want to be in relationships anymore and i agreed that
they suck! He said relationship doesn’t always suck especially if you are with
the right person and gave an example of his colleague (he’s in a relationship
with the right person), that he envies him. Then i said, if and when you meet
the right person you won’t waste the person’s time. He said it’s a discussion
for another time but he misplaced my number that his phone is having issues
that i should give him my number and i said this is the tenth time I’m giving
you my number, he said it wasn’t and he won’t ,mess it up this time.
I was trying
to avoid writing our conversations but there you go… it’s about what he said
in the conversation that got me thinking;
to avoid writing our conversations but there you go… it’s about what he said
in the conversation that got me thinking;
Do we have to be with the right person
for relationships not to suck?
for relationships not to suck?
Everyone have
their understanding of sucky relationships; it could be the person’s character,
views or according to my bank “friend” view…Essence. Yeah, he
actually used that word in describing why it did not work out with his ex, after
dating for God knows how long. In his words, her essence and mine are totally
different…How i understand it; she does not possess the quality he wants from
a partner. What i think; he’s saying this now cos she dumped his ass when she realized
he wasn’t making a move/step to the next level of the relationship and he is
cool with it cos he doesn’t see her as his wife anyways but he doesn’t have the
balls to tell her. Anyways, that’s what i think of the relationship but how
about when people that are right for each other are in a relationship? Does
that mean they won’t have problems/it won’t suck sometimes? I don’t think so,
what matters are they face it together…
their understanding of sucky relationships; it could be the person’s character,
views or according to my bank “friend” view…Essence. Yeah, he
actually used that word in describing why it did not work out with his ex, after
dating for God knows how long. In his words, her essence and mine are totally
different…How i understand it; she does not possess the quality he wants from
a partner. What i think; he’s saying this now cos she dumped his ass when she realized
he wasn’t making a move/step to the next level of the relationship and he is
cool with it cos he doesn’t see her as his wife anyways but he doesn’t have the
balls to tell her. Anyways, that’s what i think of the relationship but how
about when people that are right for each other are in a relationship? Does
that mean they won’t have problems/it won’t suck sometimes? I don’t think so,
what matters are they face it together…
Who is the right person?
Okay, this is
a very diverse question. I’m sure y’all have your definition/example of the
right person (your right person) while some will say you’ll just know but I’d
like to know how you’ll ‘just’ know. What i understand of the right person is;
Someone that gets you, does not always agree with you but you both have a
common interest, might not have the same believe/views but there is a mutual understanding,
where you feel secure and at peace with yourself.
a very diverse question. I’m sure y’all have your definition/example of the
right person (your right person) while some will say you’ll just know but I’d
like to know how you’ll ‘just’ know. What i understand of the right person is;
Someone that gets you, does not always agree with you but you both have a
common interest, might not have the same believe/views but there is a mutual understanding,
where you feel secure and at peace with yourself.
How do relationships suck?
It’s not necessarily
what the person does or says, it could be anything… It’s not working, it’s
not working! Or better still being with the wrong person (does that mean my
bank friend is right? ugh,i hate being wrong!) . People give reasons why they
break up but i have a question; why is it that people face the same reasons and
more with these ‘right’ persons and stay with them still? Are we getting
somewhere???
what the person does or says, it could be anything… It’s not working, it’s
not working! Or better still being with the wrong person (does that mean my
bank friend is right? ugh,i hate being wrong!) . People give reasons why they
break up but i have a question; why is it that people face the same reasons and
more with these ‘right’ persons and stay with them still? Are we getting
somewhere???
Why do some
men say they don’t want to be in a relationship yet they want sex from this
relationship/wife material?
men say they don’t want to be in a relationship yet they want sex from this
relationship/wife material?
You see some
good guys complaining on how terrible their relationships was and how they
don’t want to be involved with anyone anymore or for a long time. Yet the want
to meet a decent girl and have sex with her just like that? I’m not saying
people don’t have flings; they do but why go for the ones that are ready to
settle down? there’s this guy that have been sort of asking me out, he just
wants to hang out in clubs, bars…. he’s the kind of guy that just wants you
to be available when he needs you, no strings, no commitments, just ‘hanging’.
Not like he made it obvious, I used my discretion. The thing is, we ladies know
when a guy is serious with us but we just chose to overlook it. Probably since
everyone is doing it, we don’t want to be alone or the worst one; maybe he’ll
change.
good guys complaining on how terrible their relationships was and how they
don’t want to be involved with anyone anymore or for a long time. Yet the want
to meet a decent girl and have sex with her just like that? I’m not saying
people don’t have flings; they do but why go for the ones that are ready to
settle down? there’s this guy that have been sort of asking me out, he just
wants to hang out in clubs, bars…. he’s the kind of guy that just wants you
to be available when he needs you, no strings, no commitments, just ‘hanging’.
Not like he made it obvious, I used my discretion. The thing is, we ladies know
when a guy is serious with us but we just chose to overlook it. Probably since
everyone is doing it, we don’t want to be alone or the worst one; maybe he’ll
change.
Why do men waste ladies time only to
discover they are not the one?
discover they are not the one?
Between a man
and a woman, most times a man can tell the minute he sees he’s wife. This has
nothing to do with love at first sight…they just know. Call me old fashion
but the man is the one to put a ring on it, he sees a lady and the features he
wants in a woman and that’s it. But its hard for ladies cos they might see who
they want but there’s nothing they can do, the only thing they can do is to
hope and pray the man feels the same way. So i ask this question; you know deep
down in your heart you can’t settle down with this person yet you stay in a
relationship with her. When you have to power to end things and save her more
years of misery.
and a woman, most times a man can tell the minute he sees he’s wife. This has
nothing to do with love at first sight…they just know. Call me old fashion
but the man is the one to put a ring on it, he sees a lady and the features he
wants in a woman and that’s it. But its hard for ladies cos they might see who
they want but there’s nothing they can do, the only thing they can do is to
hope and pray the man feels the same way. So i ask this question; you know deep
down in your heart you can’t settle down with this person yet you stay in a
relationship with her. When you have to power to end things and save her more
years of misery.
How long do you need to date someone
to know if she’s the one?
to know if she’s the one?
As they say;
it’s not by how far is by how well. So for me, i think at a certain age and time,
you just realize you don’t need all that dating for two years or more. It also
depends on what you want in a relationship; some people are not looking to
settle down but they find someone they really like and just want to spend time
with them until they move to another phase in their life. …in this case, the
feeling have to be mutual. Therefore, if you find yourself in a relationship
that has no future or you don’t envision a lifetime with that person, call it
quits and move on. But if there’s a future there, work towards consummating it.
it’s not by how far is by how well. So for me, i think at a certain age and time,
you just realize you don’t need all that dating for two years or more. It also
depends on what you want in a relationship; some people are not looking to
settle down but they find someone they really like and just want to spend time
with them until they move to another phase in their life. …in this case, the
feeling have to be mutual. Therefore, if you find yourself in a relationship
that has no future or you don’t envision a lifetime with that person, call it
quits and move on. But if there’s a future there, work towards consummating it.
Why do men keep staying in a
relationship with someone they know is not the one/ they won’t marry?
relationship with someone they know is not the one/ they won’t marry?
I’m not a guy
but as a lady i know we have needs and i believe guys have the same as well.
Some guys are so scared of being alone (is it being a alone or having someone
around to have sex with, cook and clean for them? why do ladies keep doing this
for someone that is not their husband anyways?) they rather suffocate in the
relationship than call it off. At least, till they meet ‘the one’ (have you
noticed when a guy wants to move on he hardly looks back or consider the girls
feelings?)
but as a lady i know we have needs and i believe guys have the same as well.
Some guys are so scared of being alone (is it being a alone or having someone
around to have sex with, cook and clean for them? why do ladies keep doing this
for someone that is not their husband anyways?) they rather suffocate in the
relationship than call it off. At least, till they meet ‘the one’ (have you
noticed when a guy wants to move on he hardly looks back or consider the girls
feelings?)
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