If I had a dollar every time people ask why I am single, I guess I would be a billionaire. The truth is, being single has its perks and disadvantages. But don’t you just hate when people ask why you are single? I know I do.
So I’ve seen some relatable questions people ask on being single and I would like to address them.
Is being single at 35 normal?
Yes, being single at 35 is very normal. A lot has changed in the dating world and if you are a certain way or in my case old fashioned, finding the right partner can be pretty hard. I’m in my thirties and yes I am single. So it’s totally normal.
In this part of the world where people get married at 20 (and don’t get me started on the people in the North) or immediately they graduate from school (which their future hubby paid for), it may seem like its abnormal to be single at 35 but then you realize that some of these people divorce after a few years of marriage.
Unless you plan to be married and divorced, I don’t see why you should rush into marriage only to come out of it.
I’m pretty why am I single
Oh, this tale is old as day. Have you ever wondered why most pretty ladies find it hard to get married? I’ll tell you;
I’m in this category (pretty lady) and I know firsthand what it’s like to be pretty both in the relationship department and work environment –it’s a challenge.
Most men don’t take pretty girls seriously; they want to date them, but don’t want to marry them because they have this notion that pretty girls are just good to sleep with, they don’t make good wives.
They also feel like other men will be interested in them “pretty girls” and they don’t need to compete with another man for their wives.
Pretty girls love money (at least that’s what these men think) and if they (men) eventually go broke, they could leave them –why do you see how most rich men marry young and pretty women as a second, third, or sixth wife? Or marry them as divorcees?
I’m a good woman why I’m I single
Another thing I have learnt about being good and single is that most men like bad girls. You know, girls that can play their games. Bad girls could mean anything- It could mean a lady that pretends to be good or gives the man whatever he wants so he could lock them down.
It could also mean girls that are willing to sneak the house at any time and are willing to sleep out. Not like there is anything wrong with that but these are what these bad girls do to keep the man interested or intrigued.
So my advice would be, just take the workable part of a “Bad girl”- in this case; go out and enjoy yourself, don’t stay home all day every day (being an introvert doesn’t mean you can’t take yourself out once in a while or enjoy yourself- no one will see you when you keep staying at home) and who knows you could meet the one.
I have been on a couple of dates but none seem to last a month or three
Well, that’s because the person is not for you. At least you gave it a shot and it didn’t work out. This has happened to me too; you go out with this guy but you guys are not seeing eye-to-eye and I’ll tell you why;
· Your views are different
· Your plans are different
· You don’t have the same goal
· You can’t tolerate him
· He just wants your body but is acting like it’s more
· Or along the line you realize that he is not who you want for a partner
So, my dear, it has nothing to do with why you are single. They say “you kiss a thousand frogs before you meet Prince Charming, so keep dating.
What is wrong with me why I’m I single?
There is nothing wrong with you. But then it’s also good to check if there is any character flaw that is chasing a good guy away –then you should work on that because the end goal is to meet a good guy and not just to get married.
In my case, it was anger issues which my first boyfriend said was my only problem. That if I could work on that, I am the best person any man can know. And I took that advice.
So when you figure out what it is that is not healthy, not for your future significant other but for yourself, you should work on that. If you don’t have any toxic/unhealthy flaws, then there is nothing wrong with you.
You just haven’t met that person that will take the time to understand you and chose you still. And none of these questions will matter.
Am I single because I’m too picky?
When you say too picky what do you mean exactly? Are we talking about how a person sneezes or something? – Cause that’s a little extreme. You see, it’s okay to know what you want and seek for what you want. If that is what people call “picky” then, that’s not picking.
We all have what we need, want, and expect in a significant other and if you can’t see that, you can decide to move on. Don’t force yourself into a relationship with a person that you can’t stand or that you know you don’t see a future with because you don’t want to be single.
At the end of the day, only you will live with this person, so if you start noticing red flags, don’t try to micro-manage it or feel like he/she will change, keep moving.
Being single doesn’t have anything to do with being too rich, too poor, took dark, too light, too skinny, too fat, too bad, too good…
With everything going on in marriages today, are you not glad that you didn’t rush into any marriage? It’s not like I have not been asked by someone to marry me but I can’t accept anyone I’m not sure of all because I want to get married, have my kids early or fit into society. Being single is not a bad thing.
When people ask why you are single; first of all is not their business and if you feel you must reply, just tell them you have not met the right one for you. Don’t let them bring their negativity about how one is getting old, biological clock, and all that whack stuff… Just ignore and keep living your life. It’s not perfect anywhere. Be single and proud!