Why you should not date below your standards

dating below your standard

Though I talked about reasons why you date below your standards, in my last post. This post is in case you are thinking of all those reasons why you should date below your standard, this is why you shouldn’t.

Look, I totally get it. Being single sucks sometimes but trust me, it’s not all that bad. When you are single, you have all the time in the world to do anything you want – would you always succeed? Not all the time but then you are moving…Keeping yourself engaged, learning new things, being better…

Besides you are not getting married to be complete, you are complete on your own, you just need your partner to complement you and make you better. So, why not work on yourself first and attract that person for you?

This is why dating someone below you standard is a bad idea;

  1. They are always insecure

The thing is, most times, these guys below your standards, know you are out of their league but try their luck anyways. After you decide to give them a chance, you start to see some traits that you never saw in the beginning.

At first they make it seem like they have all together, like they are confident, funny, smart…Then when you get to know them (i.e. give them a chance), they start acting jealous, saying things like “how you are too good for them”.

  1. They are just distractions

When you are dating someone insecure, whether they are below you standards or not, the relationship can be a bit toxic.

Imagine (if you can’t, this happened to me), trying to prepare for an internal interview with the company you work for and the person you are dating keep calling you at the time you are supposed to prep even though you told them about it; and you tell them that you have to study for it but they can’t understand that cause most of the time they have no goals.

Until the last minute where you have to rush to meet up; Sometimes you might be lucky and get the promotion, other times you won’t be –that is a distraction and you might end up resenting them for that later in the relationship.

  1. They don’t motivate you

Just like number three, dating someone that is not on your level might not be motivating sometimes. Because some of them don’t have goals; their goal is to date someone richer /higher than them or just having money with no plans to neither invest nor maintain it.

why you date below your standard

Not all guys below your standard don’t have goals but when you identify one that acts like that, you better run. Unless you want to ruin your life – don’t be fooled, some act like they have goals but their goals is to deceive you into sharing your money with them -“what’s mine is yours” gibberish.

The one I dated was talking about us getting a place together just one month in the relationship, he even mentioned us buying a car together. Imagine that? When we break up, who keeps these properties?

  1. They judge you

You should know that not all men that don’t have money are below your standards. I have dated one that had money but he was actually below my standards in the sense that, his mentality was quite archaic.

You all know I’m a Nigerian, the eastern part to be precise. And most of these men have this mentality that because I’m a woman, I don’t have an opinion and they “men” are always right.

The guy I dated that had money but was very archaic; he kept judging the way I do everything; from the way I walk, work …lifestyle basically. And the funny part is, I wasn’t even interested in him in the beginning but he made me give him a chance and turned out to be what I was avoiding in the beginning.

  1. Dating you is about them not you

I know you might be saying it’s about you, since you want to try something different and all but it’s actually about them.

Since they kknow they are not up to your standard, they are dating you to feel good about themselves. The one I dated right before the lockdown said “imagine if we got married, I can’t wait to see the look on those people’s faces that didn’t think I could date you”. See???

  1. They bully you or make you feel guilty

They make you feel guilty about being more successful than them. They ask question like “let’s say after we get married and you need to attend a party /event and I tell you not to go on that day, would you go?”

Or things like “when you have children, would you prepare their meal before you go to work?”, “have any of your bosses asked you out (they ask this sometimes cause they feel you cut corners to get to where you are in your career, especially if you are really beautiful), “ And if he does would you accept?”

  1. It doesn’t work out most of the time

Yeah, some people might be lucky and meet a decent guy, even though he is not up to their standard but most of the time it doesn’t work because you guys are not on the same level –financially, psychologically and mentally.

Therefore, there will be misunderstanding and if you guys are the type that don’t communicate- the breakup might not be so subtle.

And lastly, because he/she is below your standard; I can’t stress this enough. You met a guy/girl and you decide to give them a chance only to realize that you don’t see eye-to-eye on things, why continue the relationship? There is no point in that – use that time to be better at work (or your business), take care of your health, body and mind, connect with your family and friends.

Just keep yourself occupied (in a good way not because you are trying to avoid a problem) and you would realize that being single is actually great. Therefore it is better to be single than dating someone below your standard.

Do you agree with these reasons? If not, share your reasons in the comment section. Until my next post ….Chao!




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