Every thing in life has its advantages and disadvantages. Whether you are the first,second,third or the last child. They all have their good and bad. Normally,the first child should take the responsibilities at home (at least that’s what everyone thinks) but you find out that the last child takes these responsibilities to heart. The first child just gives instructions and supervise but the last do all the work. Though there are perks of being the last child of the family,the disadvantages are in a way what makes you.
Your opinion does not count
Most times as the last child, you always have an opinion but your family makes you feel like you are not making sense. As individuals we have opinions but when we are surrounded by people that are older than us, it’s like talking to the wind cos they (older siblings) feel like you are too small to talk to them. They spent countless Christmas before you, therefore they know more than you.
You have to prove a point
You know how they share food for everyone at home and the oldest get to choose first, followed by the next and then the last, that’s how decisions are made that they might have come to a solution before you (as the last) can voice out your suggestion. That’s why when you are outside your house; you try to be the best you can be. Since your family don’t appreciate you efforts, you make outsiders, friends and well-wishers appreciate you. So it’s not such a bad thing, for those that care, it makes them better.
You feel alone and different
Have you ever felt like you don’t fit in? Yeah I used to feel like that growing up. I have four older siblings (two boys, two girls), back then they did things together (the men still do) and I was left out most of the time. So anytime I go out, I start saying things I not supposed to say cos I have no one to talk to and the parrot in me starts talking. Being alone is not such a bad thing because it helps you think, most times creatively. So don’t feel bad that no one sees or thinks the way you do, use that quiet time to get to know who you are and what you can do.
You worry too much
Like my case, I worry too much about everyone. Though growing up was lonely, it made me improve myself and I felt like to get their attention I had to be a grown up, I had to be responsible so we would take me seriously. And I did, they took me seriously but it didn’t change the fact that they are older than me. At some point they came to me for advice (they never accept that) or just to talk. This kept happening with friends and well-wishers that I had so many secrets in my head.
They tell me their problem, I listen, and sometimes give my opinion (mostly to friends) and don’t judge. Mostly to friends because they are the ones that respect your opinion and views,they know who you are hence they don’t judge or misunderstand you.
The way the last child of a family feels about their older siblings…
- They expect you to listen but keep your opinions to yourself.
- Your parents assign something to everyone and you being the last know that you would do all the work so you start coming up with suggestions and solutions on how to make the things easier.
- They feel like you are not important yet they can’t do anything without you.
- They expect you to aspect their choices and mistakes in life without commenting but the minute you voice out yours,they scold you and condemn your efforts. The minute you comment on their flaws or mistakes,they say you are too judgy (its not a word,I’m aware of that,lol),you talk to much. You claim you know everything,and feel like every other person is stupid.
Well,its not your fault they feel that way,you are more organized because all your life you try to prove yourself and fit into the family. Therefore trying different things and coming up with solutions.
You might talk a lot and go off point sometimes but eighty percent of the time you actually make sense. It takes a good listener to accept the right and positive things you say and discard the thirty percent gibberish.
It also takes a good listener to understand that you must not accept everything they do or say.
And as someone that talks a lot, you must not always have an opinion and if you do, it should be kept to yourself unless when asked. Also, You are entitled to your opinion and must not say it like they want you too.
So what do you go through as the last child? Is it always fun or how people assume it is?